Adults, We Have to Do Better

This week, I struggled to find my voice.

As I sit down to write this, I reflect on recent news headlines. Two local high schools evacuated their buildings while authorities ensured the school was safe for its precious students.

In the same moments, social media taunts the education system. Sites marketed to promote teacher support instead fuel the weary emotions of angst against the administrators. Scroll a little further, and you’ll find other posts asserting that teachers can barely get themselves to work, let alone manage the needs of their students.

We must be careful what we see and what we say. The bombardment of these messages serves only to create division and destroy trust in the already strained and stressful environment that is education.

“Adults, we have to do better.”

I share the above quote and the story below with permission from a valuable member of our SVA community.

A deeply involved and beloved family in our SkyView community navigated an incredibly traumatic experience. This family, like many in our SVA community, has two very gifted student-athletes. As elite athletes, the girls travel with competitive teams. Last month, while they competed at one such event, mass chaos erupted around them.

People began to shout and shove. Chairs and tables tipped over. Rising panic suggested threats of a gun and an active shooter. Everyone sprang into motion as fear coursed through the crowd.

As the commotion and chaos intensified, mom and dad lost sight, connection, and contact with their daughters. Abandoned backpacks and athletic gear cluttered the venue. Makeup smeared on tear-streamed faces as families, disconnected from each other, cried out in desperation to be reunited. It was a living nightmare.

Thankfully, the big sister went into Big Sister Mode. Leading her younger sister into a safe hiding spot, the girls stayed quiet, safe, and hidden until their parents found them. The joy of their reuniting for me is palpable.

But all of it could have been avoided.

Why?

Because two adults determined fighting held priority over rational, mature conflict resolution. Two men allowed their emotions to control their behavior at an event designed to honor the skills of their children. Instead of teaching the children healthy competition and sportsmanship, the dads lost control.

As the chaos piqued, some adults responded appropriately, turning to one another and calmly leading children to safety. Yet, other adults grabbed their phones to record the moment.

The moment created by adults…

Perpetuated by adults…

Adults, we have to do better.

The children knew what to do. This SkyView family immediately reached out in praise of our staff and gave thanks for the active shooter training their children received at SkyView. The girls had been trained to handle the worst-case scenario, and they rose to the challenge. They were safe because they knew what to do in case of an emergency. They learned that through the drills and policies we have in place to keep our campus safe.

While I am forever thankful to the staff and students of our community who are committed to the best practices we put in place, I am devastated by the reality that these best practices even need to exist. It is a delicate balance to hope for the best but have a plan for the worst, but we do this so that in the face of fear, we know what to do.

Yet, I cannot help but return to the beginning of my post and reflect on the angst that exists among adults.

Adults, I have to do better.

Adults, you have to do better.

Adults, we have to do better.

Our children should not need to set the example of excellence for us. We should not create chaos in the first place.

I am over-the-moon proud of these two sisters, SkyView students who knew to stay together, stay quiet, and stay safe.

As we all teach these children every day, let’s remember to learn from them as well.

Let’s find our voices and use them- for good.